Im on my way to watch Twilight the saga-New Moon

Oh my goodness...i never thought that i would actually watch a chick flick but ever since i watched the trailer, i was swooning over the romance portion of the plot. I guess its intensity and the vampy mysteria is what attracted me to watch it. Im watching it alone..which is a choice i made. I cant imagine him watching the show with me..Guys wont understand la
and i can finally eat pop corn! or maybe the cheesy nachos without felix saying NO to the unhealthy snacks.

Felix is off cycling at ubin..as usual..without me just becos we had a senseless quarrel this morning. He's self centred..blah blah blah..and i can go on and on and on abt that.
argh!
he's so emo!

Im looking forward to 2010..cant wait for 2009 to end..

I hate to say this..

but im getting angsty..i hate it when a a particular someone conveniently shifted the blame to who else? but me
after i apologised and confessed on one mishandling...my manager conveniently got screwed for something else..something similar along the same line and she said i did it..she blamed it on my lack of knowledge of ipo..fuck U!
you almost screwed me up for 1 mio for almost missing someone else's subscription! and you tell me i know cock abt ipo?
u're so finished in my eyes u double headed biatch!

I think..i

i think too much..
i think i worry too much..
work is driving me nuts. why cant i just try to be a lil' less responsible and be more carefree?
maybe i inherited my .mom's worry genes..
like today..i help to send a short position outbound. approvals came in but colleague rejected cos he said it was across the booking centre..he feels that from a risk control perspective, the approvals is not enough..and he said maybe compliance is required..
god..here i am trying to help him clear his breaks, he has to give me this crap..
before the settlement date and i have to get compliance?? just get the approval and inform dealer to get the broker to amend the bloody confo...
i went to hk and sg compliance..no response..sent 2 chasers and the head of legal responded with am ambiguous answer..citing..isnt this lrcc's approval?
crap!
lrcc stands for legal risk and compliance..under 1 roof dear idiot..
and she cant internally forward my correspondence..she had to suan me...
and provide me with a person's contact to check with when they are sitting in 1 bloody floor...
what the f*** i tell u...and no one responded..6:30 pm..sent email to head of business risk management.no response..
i left
and when i reached home
i fucking forgot if the settlement date that hk short sell was on 22nd..
i just got damn paranoid..
i call my colleague many times..he switched off his phone...
i was so paranoid that maybe i saw wrongly and that th esettlement date would be today and there may be a buy in..fuck..and who's gonna bear the cost?
i had to down myself with 3 glasses of wine to calm myself down..
sometimes i find myself..obsessively worrying myself for nothing..
i worry myself excessively and sometimes to the extreme
and ended up ...for nothing..
im just going to enjoy my weekend and fuck care abt work..
im so sick of people making me take their rap..for their oversight..like yesterday's case...
thank god i was not a sucker..
i fought my way and finally its resolved...
im so sick of arrogant wealth managers..bitchy pieces of shite..
trying to get their way by throwing their weight ard..
..
p:s: its the john kosovich pinot talking...

The last quarter of 2009 is approaching..

My block leave has finally come to an end..as quickly as it began, it ended swiftly as well.

1st week was spent in Perth and much to my disappointment, Felix was ill for 7 out of the 8 days.

Oh well...at least i got my country road clothes and shoes from 9west and zomp.

Shopping in Australia is expensive...

Bikinis from Anna & Boy..gorgeous but too ex. Sass & Bide too...

Met up with Christopher in Perth. Just wanna say thank you very much for your company and thank you for the help that you rendered to help us retrieve the apartment keys left in the rental car. Thank you so much

The 2nd week was spent at home with my family and doddie bear.

I could really get used to not working. ;p no dread felt.. I wonder whats install for me at work..argh..i should really not think and enjoy my weekend instead.

Brother is back from Ireland for good after 11 yrs and he would be starting his work at tan tock seng in oct.

I feel worried for him in a way as all he is concerned with is living the high life and my mom is starting to worry..

A short blissful vacation leave

Although i was on leave since Thursday, it was a good break from work although it wasnt a rested sort of break but a blissful break. Doo Doo took leave with me. Thankfully i hadnt made plans to meet up with my friends on those days otherwise i would have to cancel.
Thursday was spent doing nothing..the skies i remembered threatened to pour but didnt..
Friday was spent mountain biking!! 2 laps of BT. my thumbs hurt..actually its the vein or tendon in the thumb. BOth feels sprained and hurts when i bent them. i guess its due to all that shifting up/down of gears and the impact fr the drops due to the terrain. oh well..
Saturday, i went to my darling's office. He has a room now! Bravo! Im glad that his superiors recognise his hard work and hw capable he is and we set abt to built his CRS shrimp tank and did a lil' unpacking as he has shifted his work premises from paya lebar to jurong. After that, we went to Jurong Point. The shopping mall was huge!! huge ! but those shops didnt appeal to me but the food section did..;p After hunting around for a wireless keyboard, we went to JUrong east for my ah gong's birthday celebration..
all the grandchildren..fried too much food...everything was fried...
some fried some stuffs and didnt even know what it was when we asked..my gawd..
what was i eating?
It was a good 2.5 hours and im happy that darling has taken the effort to come by to spend some time with my relatives..
first time :)
Today, we went road cycling this morning fr Serangoon North - Thomson - Mandai and back..47 km only...but i was really tired..i meant my calfs and thighs..so many climbs..it was literally rolling roads... max speed obtained..was 51km/hour!!
never believed that i could reach that kind of speed..crazy crazy crazy
Im heading to keong siak street to eat prawn noodles and zhi char and tom i would be bk at work again.. :(
i keep phsychin myself up by telling myself that im not the only pea in this country that dreads going back to work after leave
who likes to work?
i mean..who likes to work at a place whereby ur job function has changed by almost 80%..you now lack variety in ur work and have to do processing? Im at least thankful that im starting off with derivatives first...
but the thought of having to support and rotate to all the other processing teams..esp F*** just make me F*** ill....
hahaha
fill in the blanks..

"Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now" -- Alan Lakein.

Coddie my Love

Dear Coddie,

i feel that i have been an extremely bad mother to you.

i have always thought that i was giving and doing the best for you but i always ended up hurting you.

words cannot explain how sorry for engaging the wrong trainer , sathia and lance.

the former hit you and made you had swelling and infection which led to liver inflammation and the latter used the electric collar and metal spokes as a collar to control ur barking and walking.

you actually walk fine, and you wouldnt have barked incessantly if i had nt neglected you.

you lived strongly and recovered when all the vets in mt pleasant tld me to put you down.

that was when you were only 2 yrs and you went thru so much

today you're age 7 yrs.

i spotted a huge 7cm tumour mammany gland on ur 2nd nipple.

i made the decision to spay you when you were 2 yrs ago past ur 1st heat but my brother stopped me and said i no right to do so.

who was i to rob you of ur glands etc..

you being my first pet, i didnt know what was best...all i know was that i didnt want you to hurt and i did everything to hurt you.

i read so much abt mammary gland over the night and yours seems to fall under malignant and i cant let you go..

i cant i cant i cant...imagine that you'll be gone but i dont want you to be in pain although you're nt in pain now.

i love you..and i can only hope for the best

and i hope you'll be strong and forgive me for nt loving you enough and taking care of you.

im bringing you to see a doctor later.

he would be x-raying ur chest and a possible surgery today or tom.

im sorry coddie ...

i just want to focus in saving you

Thought of the Day

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow" -- Paul H. Dunn.

He called...

" I love you.."
" Did you get struck by lightning? Why the sudden change in attitude?"
"No...i got bird shit on my head.."

Broken Pieces

We slept apart.. We woke up apart..We didnt kiss goodbye when i went to work.. We didnt message one another at work.. We didnt call one another..We ate in silence.. we are apart tonight..
No words can express how remorseful i am.. for what i did..
I sat on the knee of a guy friend..i wrote words with my butt .. i made the birthdaw boy drink for all the times he made us drink till we go bonkus..
I have hurt the one who loves me who thinks im fooling around behind his back..
He saw my perched on a guy's lap and he thinks i have slept with him!
I felt so offended but who am i to be angry?
I have been truthful to him in all things that i do.. im sorry i did wrong and i may have to pay dearly for my brainless action ..for sitting on a guy's knee!
I dont blame him..
He has every right to be angry..
I would have been mad too if i were him.
Im just waiting for him to say we're through..
a Girl posted all my crazy pictures on facebook..needless to say, my bf would get even more furious.
I cried last night as i lay next to him..with his back facing me..
i cried this afternoon at work when i felt overwhelmed at work and i didnt have him to call
i cried in the garden when i got out of his car..when he said he doesnt need me to stay over
im crying now..as im typing this because im losing someone so dear to me.
I used to use the words" break up" so freely but he thought me a lesson that i'll never forget..
and i swore never to use those words again
and now i've learnt my lesson..there may not be a second chance again..
I used to be really full of pride! and i'll never allow myself to wallow in tears and self pity...
what have i become..
i think i have come to a point whereby i love him more than he loves me..
can i be with someone who loves me lesser?